So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
