Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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