It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
