Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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