we have officially lost it.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
