What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
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Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
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I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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