like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
My vagina is officially offended.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
