Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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