She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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