Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize