my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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