my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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