What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Randomize
