AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
