Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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