If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
