My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
