K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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