non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
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