So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize