your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
