the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
