Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
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My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
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after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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