i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize