then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize