The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
