so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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