I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize