I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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