my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
