Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
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