Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
