i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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