he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
