Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
