Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
