She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
did you just send me my own nude
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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