Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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