I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
