Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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