go do what you do best...puke behind churches
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
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