I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
