He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
