she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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