My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
