im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
