sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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