I want to make a zoo with you.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
