Betty ford says i'm here all night
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize