On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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