That's intense
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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