we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
