I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
