Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
How's work?
Spinning.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
