if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
