I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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