Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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