Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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