My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
