You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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